Half of My Heart


From where I stand, I can see that there is Love, the Ideal and there is “love”- the definition that any one person may have of “Love” at any given place in time and experience. We often use the term “Love” and do not know what we are saying. We experience the feeling of “Love” but do not understand how the filters of our personal existence are affecting our determination and functioning in the continuum of that feeling. We easily confuse Love, the Ideal, with love, the idea, and love, the idea, with Love the Ideal.

From my experience, I can see there is no sacrifice too large for Love, the Ideal. So, if we find something that seems greater than what we have called “Love”, that means we have actually been experiencing or relating to a lesser version of the Ideal. That is what most of the world is doing and it hurts us all. Few of us are able to know the difference. Each of us could have more, or better, but we must evolve toward it. It appears that this process of evolution is wrought with pain and confusion. Our current collective-mindset, the master program which dominates our cultural way of seeing and functioning in relationships causes the struggle. We want to give PART of our self not ALL of our self. We want to give just enough to feel good. We mostly want what we want- to feel good. But, you can only get what you give. So, if you give half-heartedly and with half of your heart, you can only receive half-heartedly and with half of your heart. So then, naturally, the universe gives us or sends us part NOT the whole of Love. This is a very poetic giving and receiving; sowing and reaping. What does giving ALL mean anyway? The answer to that will be kept for another post.

What a true mystery, that we may believe we are loving with our whole heart when we are not. That is because we don’t truly know ourselves. Have you ever had the feeling after you’ve parted ways with someone you’ve “loved” and, only then, you realized you could’ve loved better, deeper? There it is! The truth you could not or did not want to see before.

We may think we want Love but until we are ready to give ALL of our self for it, we will continue in the cycle, the perpetual struggle. This cycle is part of a law of Life that we cannot escape. The cycle is purposeful: to bring us to the point of realizing that Love must come from within FIRST. Only from that point are we ready to truly give Love. Only from that point are we truly ready for what Love has for us. The cycle is beautiful in its faithfulness. It is merciless and righteous, like cold and heat.

Some of us think we are fine having love, the idea and do not want the responsibility that comes with Love, the Ideal. That is fine, except it continues our growing pains, individually and communally- destabilizing souls and society. I say this because Love, the Ideal, is the stuff that the soul is made up of and is the ultimate destination for this journey we call Life. Every guru, prophet, sage, or Christ has been saying this for ages. Yet, you may not be ready for it. So, the cycle continues for you.

To forfeit Love, the Ideal, is to forfeit your own soul and, therefore, to miss out on the very fulfillment of your life. It hinders you and the majority.

Let’s start with something simple? Are you loving half-heartedly? Do you want to keep living that way? Do you want to keep receiving that way?


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