“Ashes from the flames the truth is what remains.”
It won’t be long before the second year comes around. She decided we’d separate. I had no choice in the matter. I just wanted to be loving and emotionally supportive as was my intent for the previous couple years. No amount of emotional outburst would deter my resolve to love her with out condition and praying for the strength to love no matter what the cost. Perhaps I can say, love has cost me everything.
But, in a wounded state of heart and soul, one may be unable to recognize reality . Wounded-ness, may only allow one to see potential or past pains, inadequacies… what a mystery.
Whatever the case, she chose to divide her own family and go her own way- separating our kids from a very present dad. I loved her to the very end- sad for her tainted perspective and misguided confusion, the apparent image she held of me, and the little hearts of our precious kids.
Here is what I’ve learned:
Love is worth the fight, no matter how bad it hurts. You must genuinely give it everything you’ve got with faith and hope mixed in. To give up on love is to, in some way, give up on your self. To give up on love is to be vow-less, without commitment; in some way, without honor.
“You fight for what you love. Don’t matter if it hurts. You find out what it’s worth and you let the rest burn.”
Yes, intimate relationships experience the fire, but you fight for what you love… unless you don’t love [it]. The worthless things will burn, whether that’s your partner, family or material possessions. Yes, the things you consider worth less, you’ll leave in the fire. The things that are valuable to you, you’ll save from it. You will come out of the fire with what matters most to you.
“The truth is what you save from the fire.”
What remained for me?
An unfeigned love for my Heavenly Father. A true sense of identity. A deeper connection with my children and a deep respect and honor for their mother.
“If the house burns down tonight, I’ve got everything I need when I got you by my side… Let the rest burn.”
Not everyone understands this type of love. She didn’t and I’m ok with that now. It’s not for everyone. But I do understand it and, therefore, it is for me. So, now I get to move on… with gratitude and peace. It is worth less for some but worth everything for others. Only our ability to see clearly affects which person we are.