Have you ever seen a car that is completely frozen over? Hopefully you weren’t needing to drive it!
I had a lunch appointment scheduled for 1130 am and I was already on the verge of being late. I walked out to the car only to see a layer of ice completely covering it. Fortunately, I have electronic locks with a remote, so I could at least unlock the door and get it open, breaking the ice at the seam of the door. But, I quickly realized I was not going to be able to drive away. I wouldn’t be able to see out of any of the windows!
I sent a message to my brother in-law, who I was meeting for lunch, and told him I’d be a little late. We rescheduled for 12. I started the car and let it warm up. “If I can get it warm that will help break the ice”, I said to myself. Everything was frozen! The windshield wipers couldn’t move, the windows could not go up or down and the trunk would not open!
I grabbed the ice pick off the floor board and began to think about my plan of action. I began to chip away at vulnerable spots in the ice, where I knew I could start working in toward and under thicker areas. Within, I was contemplating how, much like my car, human hearts can be “frozen over” as well. Figuratively, of course! They are beating and warm on the inside, but can be cold, stiff and nearly impenetrable on the outside.
First, I see this “frozen over” heart within myself. My unwillingness to go with the flow of Life is evidence of how “frozen over” I can be! In one way or another, I resist things I don’t have control over and this leads to me acting a certain way that I later wish I had not.
I understand that when I face a difficult circumstance, I need to be consciously aware of the choice I am about to make. “How am I going to handle this situation? Who do I want to be? What kind of person do I want to be in this situation? How is my choice, reaction or response going to manifest and how are those actions going affect others?”
Few humans take the time to consider all these types of questions when difficult moments and circumstances arise. But we must learn to!
The scary thing is, the more unwilling or incapable we are of noticing how “frozen over” our hearts are, the thicker the ice really is. If you are the person who says, “Nothing is wrong with me.”, that is one of the biggest signs of a heart that is “frozen over” because not one human is perfect and the consensus says we all agree. Yep, something is “wrong” with all of us. Furthermore, if nothing is “wrong” with you, then your life must be perfect as well, exactly as you want it to be in your best dream of who you are with no frustrations at all- only peace all the time… Hah! Don’t be deluded. Don’t allow your self to lie to you!
Listen!! The car I needed to use to reach a certain destination could not be moved until the ice was broken or melted away. Only then would the windows be clear and I be able to drive safely in order to get where I wanted to go.
THIS IS YOUR LIFE! Your heart, is like that car! The car represents your ability to get where you want to in this life and to do it with as few accidents and detours as possible. If your heart remains “frozen over”, you will try to get where you want to go, but it will take much longer and you will do much damage to yourself and others along the way because you can not see clearly to respond appropriately to circumstances around you.
I have done much work to help people see through their emotional turmoil and I ALWAYS find, in each person, a heart that is “frozen over”. You must realize that a heart that is “frozen over” is an unhealthy one. The safety and security it seems to offer is an illusion. A heart that is “frozen over” is DANGEROUS for you and you become an emotional liability to every one around you.
Here are few signs to help you understand the heart that is “frozen over”: – resistant to change – judgmental of others – gossip – controlling – hate or prejudice – bias – self-centeredness – unwillingness to hear constructive criticism – negativity (everything or everyone is the problem; not you) – unwilling to forgive – greed – lying – co-dependency (or tending to focus on the issues of others, rather than your own)
These are only a few, but they all have the same foundation in common. They are all an attempt to look better than someone else and/or feel better about yourself to feel safer or comfortable within your environment. But, why would you choose that at someone else’s expense? That type of behavior is not acceptable and is the type of thinking that causes war in this world. I will be extremely frank now: It’s pathetic and despicable and WE ALL DO IT! But we can learn to be aware of it and change it- change our selves and, then, since we know we are all guilty, we can cut one another some slack when we make mistakes. In fact, if you’ve read this far, you are already learning how. NOW, you just need to start practicing, one cirucumstance at a time.
An unhappy and unfulfilled life is a sign of a heart that is “frozen over”. The inability to get where you want to go, means your “windows” are not clear and you can’t see where you’re headed nor what direction to take next. No one can be blamed for this and you can’t even blame yourself. Ignorance is no one’s fault. Immaturity is no one’s fault. It is simply a state of being that we hope to find the right conditions to grow out of. We hope to become more wise. We hope to become more mature.
You are a human being, which means you are emotionally vulnerable. That vulnerability decreases as you learn your true identity. The world has told you that you need so many things in order to be secure and happy. But it’s NOT true. That is why I am here- to help you uncover who you truly are and get where you want to go! Though humanity is a part of you, you are more than just human.